Too afraid to admit it
by JourneyThroughMySoul
Summary: AU Story. She never left a note, an explanation, and whenever the blonde questioned her, the answer was always the same "You know I have work" A/0 end game. T rated with a tad M, but nothing too heavy
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys. It's been a while since I've written anything so i'm a little rusty, go easy on me but please review. I like to know what you think of the story regardless of whether good or bad.**

 **This is an AU story, I'm not gonna give too much away, but I hope you enjoy.**

 **I don't own anything other than this story.**

 **Hope you enjoy.**

Twenty-two year-old Alexandra Cabot, more commonly referred to as Alex, sighed as she opened her eyes to the empty space beside her, again. It was becoming an all too familiar way to wake up after a night of passion with HER. The woman in question always left before morning, or at least sometime during the night, whether before the clock struck twelve or after, Alex had no idea.

She never left a note, an explanation, and whenever the blonde questioned her, the answer was always the same "You know I have work", and yes, Alex knew all too well that the woman she loved had to work. They'd met while SHE was working, and six years had passed since that meeting, and the last three had been the most wonderful yet most frustrating.

You see, Alex was confident in herself and who she was. She had began to question her sexuality in her early teens; a difficult time as her Mother had always tried to encourage her to date the nice young boy down the street. But for Alex, it had never felt right and when she came out to her parents, aged sixteen, it had been tough. In time they had come to accept it and Alex had had some brief relationships with women since.

The woman who had left her bed at some point after two rounds of passionate yet gentle love-making was a good eight years older than her, but for Alex at least, their had been a connection from the moment they met and she now knew she loved the woman who she was now attempting to call. Once again she left a voicemail as the call had been disconnected, she was never angry in the messages she left but her disappointment once again was evident.

Alexandra had been a quiet yet friendly and outgoing teenager, she loved to learn and excelled in all her subjects at school. Her favourite subject, English was how she had met the woman who had become her first love, and only love. Walking into the classroom that day and seeing the new teacher, her heart had fluttered, she recalls now the beautiful woman smiling as she sat down, apologising profusely for being a minute or two late, her cheeks blushing as she did so. Of course, while their was an obvious attraction on both parts, neither the teacher nor Alex allowed themselves to cross boundaries, and it was until aged nineteen when Alex had left school that a relationship, not that it could really be called that, began.

Alex began her morning routine; the apartment on Fifth Avenue sat on the ninth floor and looked out over Central Park. It had been a belated eighteenth birthday present from her Auntie Liz, one she had taken months to accept as extravagance was not a Cabot trait, and the gift to Alex one she felt she did not deserve. However, in need of her own apartment, she had gratefully accepted, and now she had become comfortable and it finally felt like home.

"Damn it" the blonde cursed, as she stubbed her toe on the corner of the sofa, as she hastily attempted to make coffee and rid herself of the annoyance at being left once again. She knew she needed to clear her head before work, so after drinking her coffee she decided to go for a run, she usually ran almost every morning, except for Sundays, and Mondays, but today, a Monday, she knew she needed the distraction.

It had been a long weekend, Friday after work, she had driven to her Parents home in New Hampshire for a dinner with the family, an only child, but with many cousins, Alex had always been close with her family and after spending the night in the spare bedroom, and having a quick breakfast she had driven home. Alex's parents had moved to New Hampshire when Alex was 15, having already settled at Eleanor Roosevelt High School Alex had been reluctant to move and after begging her parents had moved in with her Auntie Liz and Uncle Bill. Saturday afternoon had been spent doing some work she had brought home and Sunday had planned to be a lazy day. However as usual it had ended with her former teacher in her apartment; the passion between them having been ignited, fuelled by alcohol and longing.

Alex returned from her run, no less relaxed but after a shower headed off to work, hoping the day would be busy so she would not have to think about the previous night and early morning disappointment.

Alex had been lucky enough to land herself a part time job as an aid at a well known lawyer firm, she had big ambitions and to become a lawyer was one of them. She had just completed 3 years at Columbia Law School, and this was her first step onto the career ladder. Many had expected her to attend Harvard, not least her Mother and Auntie Liz but her heart was in New York, or at least the woman she loved was, and she had turned down the offer of a place at the University in Massachusetts.

It was only a short drive to her workplace, and within 15 minutes of leaving her apartment she had reached her desk, nodding good morning to the various colleagues she passed on the way. While a confident young woman, Alex was still considerably private, she didn't really share much personal information with anyone and had yet to attend any of the after work drinks that she'd been invited to.

Work was busy but Alex still found herself checking her phone whenever the opportunity arose, unable to think of little else, and hoping to see a missed call, voicemail or even a text message, but disappointment became the central emotion she felt, and the blonde just wanted to return home with a bottle of wine and a good film. However as she excited the elevator a little after six that evening, sitting by her door was the figure of her former teacher

"Olivia"

 **Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I thought I'd add the second chapter before I turn in for the night, again it's a fairly short chapter, a little dialogue in this one but still setting the scene so to speak.**

 **I apologise in advance for any mistakes or typos, the letter T key is broken so doesnt always work but hopefully ive proofread properly and all is ok.**

 **Reviews are much appreciated, keep reading. Further chapters to come in the next day or two. Better spend tomorrow with the wife or she'll feel neglected lol**

"Alex, I'm sorry"

Alex sighed; she'd heard it before, in fact, every single time. She always gave in, and then berated herself for it the next morning, but this time she was determined not to.

Olivia Benson was a complex woman, she always had been. The product of rape, she had been equally hated and loved by her alcoholic mother, who was now deceased. It had left her desperate for comfort, but unable to commit. Taking solace in the arms of men who had only used her for their own sexual gratification had been the story of her teenage years. She had worked her butt off at school, although often leading herself into altercations and detention; she had left school with few good grades. However following in the footsteps of her mother and excelling in English, she became a teacher.

Work had been a distraction, filling her with purpose and meaning, she had left behind her old ways and hadn't been with a man since landing the job at Eleanor Roosevelt High School, six years ago. Of course, her past and everything that came with it she had never shared with Alex.

Her first meeting with the beautiful blonde before her, she remembers vividly as if only yesterday she entered the classroom, books in hand, fumbling over her words in an apology. She had noticed the blush creeping up the face of the young teen, although at the time attributing it to the fact that Alex was shy.

"You're always sorry Olivia" Alex replied tensely, her response startling the brunette

"Alex"

"No. I'm sick of it" Alex started as she unlocked the door to her apartment, half willing herself not to invite the brunette in but wavering "You turn up, we make love and then you leave"

"I have to work"

"You always have to work Olivia, for the past three years! I've asked you, begged even for you to stay, to bring a change of clothes"

Olivia took a step forward, her hand outstretched but Alex turned away, she was tired, tired of the brunette's lack of commitment

"I'm sorry, I just…you know you mean a lot to me Al"

"Do I Olivia?" Alex sighed, turning to face the brunette who was inches behind her, their breaths catching at the close proximity of their lips. Olivia was the first to make a move, her lips brushing gently over the blonde's who sighed into the kiss. It was gentle, slow and comforting but Alex knew she couldn't give in, not this time. She pulled away, tears forming in her eyes, she rubbed them away hastily, annoyed that she was unravelling

"Alex…"

"Please go Olivia, I can't do this…we can't do this"

"Al, I…I'm sorry"

* * *

Olivia was sorry, she hoped that the blonde knew deep down that she was deeply sorry for the pain she kept causing Alex. It hadn't been easy these past years, for either of them but Olivia didn't do commitment, she never had, all the men she had slept with had only ever wanted sex, the snuggles afterwards and gentle whisperings had never existed, she'd always been turfed out afterwards. Every time Alex had begged her to stay Olivia so badly wanted to give in, to spend the night in the arms of her lover but she couldn't bring herself to. She was scared, scared of rejection, of hurt and of herself.

As the brunette started her car, she rubbed away a single tear, Alex was special, and Olivia knew that the blonde's feelings for her were not just infatuation but love, she had never felt love before, and that scared Olivia.

Thinking back to the first day they'd talked properly, Olivia smiled sadly, she'd been marking papers in the classroom after school hours when Alex had walked in and then back out again, apologising with that same blush as on the first day they'd met. Olivia had kicked of her shoes and unbuttoned her shirt, the warm sunshine radiating through the windows and both women were embarrassed by the amount of skin on show. Olivia had been teaching at the school for over a year now, the relationship between them having only ever been that of teacher and pupil but both aware of the lingering connection between them.

Olivia had buttoned up her shirt hastily and called Alex back into he classroom, apologising for making her uncomfortable. The blonde had brushed it off, explaining that she'd left her textbook in the class and wondering if Olivia had seen it.

The way she fumbled over her words always made Olivia smile, she'd seen how popular Alex was with her classmates and how confident she was around them.

Not to mention how beautiful the blonde was, Alex was tall, and slim and she had a distinct style, she knew good clothes and Olivia had envied the way Alex could pull of anything she chose to wear.

Thinking back now Olivia can't pinpoint what began the conversation that day but she clearly remembers how they'd talked about anything and everything, the conversation between them easy and continuing late into the evening. It had shocked both women when they'd realised they'd been talking for four hours, and Olivia had taken it upon herself to drive the blonde home. She had been somewhat shocked but not surprised at the extravagant home that she'd been directed to, Alex quick to explain that it was her Auntie Liz and Uncle Bill's house and that her parents lived in New Hampshire.

Arriving at her one bed apartment in Washington Heights Olivia through her bag and coat over the armchair as she sunk into it, closing her eyes and sighing. She hated what she'd been doing to the blonde but she wasn't ready, she wasn't a Lesbian or a bisexual. She just enjoyed being with Alex, was that so wrong?


	3. Chapter 3

**So I wasn't going to post another chapter until tomorrow but I've a little time on my hands so thought I would. This one's a little longer, it's gonna be a slow burn but I hope you'll stick with me. Thank you to the guest reviewer who left a lovely review, I miss Alex on SVU and have always shipped her and Olivia, so this is as much a pleasure for me to write as I hope it is for you to read.**

Alex laughed in disbelief as she looked at the text message she'd just received on her phone, the brunette who had just left her only an hour ago had messaged to say she was sorry and that maybe they just needed some space to work out what this was between them.

Alex knew what this was, for her it was love and for Olivia it was denial. Olivia had repeatedly expressed that she wasn't gay, but had never given Alex a chance to reply. Alex didn't care how Olivia chose to identify, she hated all the labels, and while she identified as lesbian and had only ever been with women, she knew that the brunette had been with men, in fact she knew that she was the first woman Olivia had been with and wished that they would talk about what this was between them, talk about it together, instead of Olivia shutting her out.

Olivia was so gentle when they made love; she always asked Alex if what she was doing was okay, almost as if she didn't trust herself. There was a tenderness to their love making, and afterwards they'd fall asleep, but Olivia was never there when Alex woke up, and sometimes they wouldn't see each other for days afterwards, until Olivia would text asking if she could come over.

Sinking into the bed that evening Alex wished that Olivia was there with her, while she was hurt and angry, her love for the brunette and the need to be held was still strong. Forcing herself not to reply to the message, worried she may give in or reply angrily, Alex closed her eyes, hoping for sleep to overcome her.

* * *

Alex didn't hear from Olivia for the rest of the week but a knock on the door early Saturday morning woke her from her sleep. Alex rubbed her eyes and threw on her robe, tying it tightly around her waist; she called out "Hang on" as the knocking continued

She opened the door to see a bedraggled Olivia looking lost and forlorn.

"It's raining"

Alex rolled her eyes in response "I noticed"

"Can I come in?"

Alex sighed "Why, so you can apologise again, we end up in bed and then you leave?"

Olivia attempted to reach out but Alex pulled her hand away, not willing to give in just yet. Her mind wandered back to the first time something had happened between them, it was summer and Alex had been enjoying a coffee in the local café near her Aunt and Uncles when Olivia had entered. Alex had just turned 17, and was in the final year of high school, they'd both been aware of a spark between them, but Olivia tried to pretend it wasn't there and Alex knowing that it was wrong to feel such things for a teacher had made sure she wasn't alone for long with the brunette.

Olivia had smiled at the blonde and Alex had offered the empty seat in front of her to the brunette, they'd talked briefly before Alex announced she was going to walk through central park and asked if Olivia had wanted to join her. They'd spent 2 hours talking, and when they'd gone to say goodbye both women had felt the spark ignite between the brief touching of fingertips and Olivia had been the first to make a move. Alex had melted into the kiss before Olivia sharply pulled away and ran. Two weeks later back at school she had asked to be transferred to take a different class and Alex had found it difficult to concentrate, getting in trouble numerous times by the new English teacher.

"Alex, please. I just want to talk"

Alex sighed as she let Olivia into her apartment, she didn't want to hear the excuses but felt she deserved to give the brunette a chance

"Ok, talk"

Olivia wasn't expecting Alex to give in so easily, and now she was there, she'd become incredibly nervous, she wasn't ready for a relationship but she didn't want things between them to end, removing her jacket and laying it gently on the arm of the sofa, she smiled gently at the blonde

"I'm sorry"

Alex nodded as she sat down on the sofa, regretting the decision instantly as the brunette sat down beside her, their thighs brushing as she did so. Neither woman knew who made the first move but their lips came crashing together, their tongues brushing each others as both women gave in to their desires. Alex knew she should stop, she shouldn't let Olivia in but it felt natural for them to be doing this.

Hands began to tug at the cord around the blonde's waist and she broke the kiss to hastily remove the garment that had been keeping her warm to reveal her nakedness beneath it. Olivia's breath hitched at the sight, her eyes wondering over the blonde's luscious breasts

"You're beautiful," she whispered

Alex reached for the hem of the brunette's t-shirt, her fingers skimming the skin beneath it causing Olivia to gasp at the contact. Lips met again and Alex moaned into it before pulling away from the brunette "I can't Olivia, we cannot do this"

"Al"

"No Olivia, I'm sorry, but I can't do this, unless you're going to stay, I can't"

"Al"

"What?" Alex said, tears brimming in her eyes as she put her robe back on "You're not going to stay are you?

"I'm sorry"

"Olivia, you're always sorry. I'm tired. I'm tired of giving you my heart and then having it crushed every time you leave"

"I know. I'm just not ready…"

"Olivia, when will you be ready, you've been doing the same thing for the past 3 years, and in fact since you first kissed me all those years ago in the park"

"I was your teacher" Olivia tried to reason as she put her t-shirt back on, the moment between them clearly not going to happen

"Yes, and you kissed ME. You made me feel like I'd done something so terrible, you know how I almost messed up my education because of that"

"Al, we've been over this"

"I know Olivia, I know we have but why won't you accept whatever this is between us, why won't you allow yourself to be honest"

Olivia shrugged as she turned away "I…I don't know what this is…I'm not…"

"Gay? I know, you've made that clear Olivia, you fuck me and then leave, but you're not gay. I don't care whether you identify as gay, straight, bisexual or whatever other label, I care that you use me, you know that I love you, but you hurt me and abuse that love for whatever means you're trying to achieve"

"I'm not trying to achieve anything Al, I just…I'm confused, and I don't mean to hurt you, I don't"

"But you do, and I let you back in every time, you leave and then you apologise, saying you're sorry and want to talk, but we don't talk, you touch me and I stupidly give in and the you tear my heart out, and I let you do it. I can't anymore Olivia, I can't let you break my heart because soon I won't be able to fix it"

"Alex…"

"No Olivia, whatever this is, it's over"

 **What next for these two, will Olivia finally admit how she feels and will Alex continue to let her heart be broken?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Pleased to see this is being read. Would love to know what you all think though.**

 **To the guest reviewer (Not sure if same person as previously reviewed), am glad you are enjoying the story, there's lots more to come and I hope you'll stay with me**

Alex wrapped her scarf tighter around herself as she walked back from the local grocery store with the items for dinner; she was hosting an evening with her friends Abbie and Serena. She'd known Abbie since they were both toddlers, having both been born in Texas, they'd been like cousins until age six Alex's Father had been relocated in his job to New York. They'd kept in touch and two years ago Abbie had moved to New York to pursue her dreams of being a lawyer. She'd met Serena shortly afterwards and they'd recently got engaged.

Alex had never told them about Olivia, they'd questioned her on whether she had been seeing anyone on numerous occasions but Alex always told them she didn't have time for relationships. She'd always been a private person, this having been instilled on her by her mother although she and Abbie had shared everything, something had prevented her from sharing this with her best friend. It wasn't that she was embarrassed, or thought that her friends would see her any differently, she was worried that they'd tell her to ditch the brunette, and Alex knew that she should. But love was one of those things you just couldn't ignore.

After unlocking the door to her apartment, Alex placed the grocery bag on the counter and set about unloading it. The girls weren't due until seven, but Alex wanted to make sure the apartment was clean and well presented, she was incredibly proud, again, something she inherited from her mother.

Caroline Cabot hadn't come from much, the youngest of six she had always fought for the attention of her parents, and not being the brightest or most confident of the bunch had learnt to be grateful and proud of the person she was. Her siblings had all gone on to marry, and have large families and it seemed for her she would again be the last, but when she met Alexander, it didn't matter that he wasn't rich and successful, he was kind and genuine and after getting married five years into their relationship, they'd had Alexandra.

Alex smiled as she looked at the photograph of her and her parents that sat on the large bookshelf, this particular image of a trip to Paris when Alex had been 13, she'd always wanted to go, her cousins all having spent many holidays abroad. It had only been a short trip, her Father having only a few days off from work, but it was a memory that always made Alex smile.

Alex set about tidying, quickly making sure that nothing of Olivia's had been left after the previous Wednesday. After having previously told Olivia that whatever they had was over, Alex had taken leave from work and gone to her parents for a few days. Catching up with her mother and spending some time thinking she had made herself a promise that she wasn't going to let Olivia hurt her anymore. However two weeks later they'd bumped into each other in central park and unable to ignore the brunette Alex had wavered. They'd quickly returned to the blonde's apartment and made love for hours, however when Alex woke up an hour later Olivia had left, again without a note.

Showering and dressing in a pair of light blue jeans and a simple white t-shirt Alex began preparing the ingredients she needed for dinner. She was keeping it simple with a cheese and onion mousse and breadsticks for starters, followed by a main of vegetable lasagne and ending the meal with a chocolate cheesecake slice, which she'd already made and was setting in the fridge.

* * *

The doorbell rang at twenty to seven, her friends as usual arriving early and bearing alcohol. Alex wasn't a big drinker but Abbie loved a drink, especially vodka and so she had come prepared knowing that the blonde would most likely only have a bottle or two of wine.

"Hey Cabot" the brunette exclaimed in her southern drawl, having spent most of her life living in New York Alex's accent wasn't as strong as the brunette's for which she was grateful

"Hey Abigail" she replied, chuckling at the brunette's scowl at the use of her full name, she hugged her briefly before doing the same to the blonde "How are you, Serena"

"I'm good Alex, you?"

"Yeah, good" Alex replied, only bending the truth slightly, she wasn't going to let Olivia ruin the catch up with friends

Abbie looked at the blonde quizzically, her brow arched at the response, she knew Alex extremely well and while the blonde was as put together as always, she could sense an underlying sadness in her voice but she wouldn't pry, she knew Alex would tell her if something was wrong

"So, I brought alcohol"

Alex laughed as she took the offerings of her friend "You always have alcohol Abbie"

"I like to drink" the brunette said as she slumped down on the couch, her athletic frame sinking into the fabric before inhaling the scent around her "That smells delicious Lex, I'm absolutely famished"

Alex smiled as she checked on the food cooking in the oven "It's nothing major girls but I hope you enjoy it"

"I always enjoy your cooking Alex" Serena said sincerely "You're a much better cook than this one"

Abbie feigned hurt at her fiancé's words but joined in the laughter that ensued from both blondes

Alex smiled as she served both ladies with the cheese and onion mousse and breadsticks, by the moan emitting from their lips it was a sure success.

* * *

Dinner was eaten quickly, plates were quickly washed, Alex insisting that she didn't need help and telling the girls to chill out.

"So Alex, anyone special in your life yet?" Abbie asked, noting the sad look upon the blonde's face as she showed her affection to Serena with a quick peck on the lips

"Nope" Alex replied rather to quickly but then smiled "You know I'm too busy at work for all that"

"Yeah right" Serena said with a hint of sarcasm "You work yourself hard Alex but even I know you went to your parents for a few days last month"

"I am allowed to take some time off you know Serena" Alex replied "But relationships, no time for the constant back and forth and hot and cold of women"

Serena and Abbie both laughed but shared concerned glances at each other, none of the three women spoke for the next few minutes but it was the brunette who broke the silence

"You're not fooling us Lex, who is she?"

"No-one, I told you"

"Alex, we know you" Serena said with a gentle smile "Something, or someone is getting into your head, you've been especially quiet throughout dinner and I see the sad look whenever me and Abs show our affection"

"Her name is Olivia" Alex sighed "And we've been sort of seeing each other for three years"

Abbie opened her mouth in shock, the brunette slightly hurt that she was only hearing about this woman now

"Three years?"

Alex nodded "I'm sorry I haven't said anything before now, it's complicated"

Abbie nodded, knowing that what Alex needed was her friends to listen and not judge "I know all about complicated"

"She was my English teacher in high school"

"Ok, she didn't come on to you, did she?" Serena questioned with concern, knowing all too well how having feelings for someone much older than her could cause problems

"No" Alex hastily answered, "Well, sort of"

"The cheek…" Abbie began but was stopped as Serena shot her a look

"Something happened years ago" Alex started "We'd sort of danced around things for a while, and then she kissed me, I wasn't innocent in all this though"

"She was your teacher"

"Yes, and she knew what she'd done was wrong. She legged it from that park so quick Abbie, and we didn't discuss it again until three years ago"

"Once you left school" Serena said

"Yes. After that incident she transferred to another class, she'd avoid any eye contact with me and I had to keep my distance, despite the fact that I'd kissed her back and found her incredibly attractive"

"So how come you didn't tell me about this before now?" Abbie questioned

"Because we're not in a relationship and I knew what you'd say"

Abbie was confused, her brow furrowing "What do you mean Alex?"

Alex sighed, rubbing her forehead, she hadn't told the women opposite about Olivia because she knew that they'd tell her to get rid, to not let her heart get broken but it already had been, the night they'd first made love

"She's in denial" Alex began "She says she's not gay and I am the first girl she's been with, but, I don't care about whether she's gay or not. I just want her to stay the night and not wake up alone the next morning"

"She's a fuck em and chuck em kind of woman then?" Abbie said, her anger obvious, she hated it when people used others for sex

"Abbie" Serena chastised, "Alex is trying to explain, let her finish"

Abbie nodded and apologised, and Alex continued, "It's not sex Abbie, it's more than that, we connect"

"Does she love you?"

Alex shrugged "I don't know how she feels"

"You love her" it wasn't a question, Serena could see it in the blonde's eyes

"I love her with all I am" Alex said sadly "but we never talk, not properly, we've never met up without ending up in bed, and I have no idea where she lives"

"You've not been to her place before?" Abbie asked

Alex shook her head "No, she turns up here and then leaves the next morning or sometime during the night, her excuse is always work and whenever we try to talk, like I say it doesn't happen"

"Alex, you need to have a conversation with her, give her an ultimatum, or something. It's obvious that she's hurting you, we can see it" Abbie said, standing up and squatting beside the armchair that Alex was currently occupying "You don't deserve to be mucked about"

Alex nodded "I did tell her about a month ago, before I went to my parents that it was over but on Wednesday I gave in and we ended up in bed again"

"And she left, again" Serena finished, understanding that love made you do things you regret sometimes

Alex nodded, a tear unwillingly escaping "I love her, and I know I should be stronger and not give in but I can't help it, she just knows how to work me and I know she means it when she says she's sorry"

"If she was sorry she wouldn't keep hurting you Alex" Abbie said and Alex knew deep down that her friend was right, but she had to defend the brunette

"She's just scared, whatever this is, whatever we're becoming, she's scared, that's all and it takes time to overcome that fear"

"Not three years Alex"

Alex sighed and nodded, the silence filling the air.

Serena and Abbie shared a look before the blonde spoke

"Right you, you're going to slap on some make-up and a hot dress and get yourself out there"

"Oh no guys, it's late, I can't"

Abbie pulled the blonde from the chair and pushed her in the direction of the bedroom knowing that Alex was using the time as an excuse "Yes, you are, it's not even half nine, the night is young, we are going to find you a hot woman to take your mind off of the one who's currently screwing with it"


	5. Chapter 5

**New Chapter for you guys, I hope you enjoy this one. I certainly enjoyed writing it.**

Alex was enjoying herself, she wasn't looking for a woman and had told her friends multiple times, they'd finally relented and had found a booth in the bar. They'd ending up at one of their usual haunts, a quirky yet classy diner and bar where the music wasn't too loud to be heard above it but loud enough so that you almost forgot whatever it was you'd been thinking. After 3 rounds of drinks, of which Abbie had always had doubles it was clear that the brunette was more than a little drunk, she'd already tried chatting up various women, of course on behalf of Alex.

Alex laughed as Serena once again dragged her fiancé away from an unsuspecting woman

"Oh, no fair, I was getting somewhere Ser" she slurred as they returned from the booth "She was sooo interested in Alex"

Alex glanced over, the woman Abbie had been talking to was young, Alex wondered if she was even old enough to drink. She blushed as the red-haired woman winked at her, but turned back to her friends

"I think we're going to call it a night Alex, this one's had enough," she said gesturing to the brunette beside her who was currently undressing Serena with her eyes "Before she embarrasses you anymore"

"I hear you" Alex replied with a smile "Thanks for tonight, it was definitely what I needed"

"You're welcome Alex, just remember we are only a phone call away and anytime you need us we'll be there"

"Except tonight" the brunette drawled "I'm gonna take my wife home and fuck her senseless"

Serena blushed before replying jokingly "Ok, I'm not your wife just yet and I can always change my mind"

Alex laughed, "Have fun" she said with a wink, as her friends excited the booth

She took a swig of the drink she had currently been nursing, before being startled "Hi"

* * *

Alex looked up and was surprised to see the red-head that Abbie had been talking to slide into the booth beside her, the gentle fruity scent of her perfume floated in the air as she looked into the most beautiful green eyes

"Hi" Alex replied, the simple word coming out in almost a squeak

She swallowed, as the red-haired placed a hand on her thigh "The name's Casey"

"Alex" the blonde replied, unsure of how she had managed to reply with the sudden temperature change

"So, I heard"

"Right, I'm sorry about Abbie"

Casey smiled "You're friend seems nice, no need to apologise, I'm pretty pleased where it led me"

Alex was beginning to feel the alcohol she had consumed, or maybe it was the redheads perfume or the intimacy of how they were currently sitting in the booth, but she was suddenly itching to escape

"I'm sorry, I should really be going"

The redhead removed her hand "Sorry if I've made you uncomfortable"

Alex felt terrible, the redhead was clearly just being friendly, she didn't hadn't meant to come across so rude "No, I'm sorry, that was pretty rude of me. I've just had a little too much alcohol"

"Oh, no I understand" Casey said quickly "I forget that I'm in a bar with people old enough to get served alcohol, I come here for the food and eye candy"

Alex chuckled; only just noticing the coca cola bottle the redhead had placed on the table

"You're not yet 21?"

Casey shook her head as she slid out from the booth, picking up her bottle "Nope, unfortunately. Anyway it was nice meeting you Alex"

"Hang on" Alex interjected "Do you fancy going somewhere a little quieter?"

Casey smiled "Are you sure?"

Alex nodded "My place isn't far from here"

* * *

"So, you're single"

The two women had just arrived at the blonde's apartment; Casey was surveying the bright living room, she had been aware that they'd ended up on Fifth Avenue, the apartment clearly being that of higher social status

It wasn't a question, Abbie had shared a fair bit in the brief conversation, and Casey was intrigued as to why such a beautiful woman would be single

"Um, well, it's complicated" Alex said as she poured two glasses of wine

"Isn't it always?" Casey replied, not letting her disappointment show. She now knew the brunette hadn't been entirely truthful with what she had said

Alex smiled sadly, before handing a glass to the redhead and sitting down on the sofa "Sorry, I didn't ask if you liked red"

"Red's good" the red head said as she took a sip before sitting down beside the blonde, the sudden closeness and electricity pulsating through her

"You have a lovely apartment," she said, trying to concentrate on something other than the beautiful woman beside her

"Thanks, it was an 18th birthday gift from my Aunt and Uncle"

"They've got to be loaded" Casey blurted, regretting it instantly "Sorry"

"No need to apologise, it is a bit extravagant. I took ages to accept, I mean, it's not really me"

"What do you mean?" Casey asked, she was eager to learn more about Alex, it had been ages since she had felt so comfortable with another person and the blonde was definitely good company

"My Mom comes from a large family, a wealthy one, but she never cared for the money and the expensive clothes, posh house, she married my Father much to Gran's disappointment. He's successful, but not wealthy. I take after my Mom"

Casey nodded taking a few sips of her wine, before shrugging of the shawl she had wrapped around her shoulders; it was unusually warm inside the blonde's apartment "Yet I see you do have expensive taste"

Alex laughed, "How do you see?"

"Let's see, well this wine doesn't come cheap, and the fact that the dress you're wearing is Versace"

Alex held up her hands chuckling "Okay, you got me. I like nice things"

Casey laughed "Nothing wrong with that"

They sat for a short while in silence, sipping on the red wine that Alex had brought for her dinner with friends, one that Abbie had turned her nose up at in favour of vodka. She had put on some music, the atmosphere in the room comfortable.

After a second glass, Alex exclaimed, "That red is so good"

"Blonde's pretty hot too"

Alex blushed but chuckled "Wow, someone obviously doesn't drink much"

Casey looked down, embarrassment coating her cheeks "Wow, I'm sorry"

Alex took the glass from between the red's fingers, placing it on the table "Don't be, it's cute"

Casey looked up, her eyes meeting the blonde's before she cautiously lent forward, placing her lips on those of the woman in front of her

The kiss was sweet, gentle, both women sighed, as they pulled apart; before the redhead began fumbling at her belongings "Sorry, I should go, I overstepped"

Alex reached out "Don't go"

"I…" Casey started, silenced as the blonde claimed her lips

"I want this, I want you" Alex breathed as she broke the kiss, standing and offering her hand to the redhead

Casey stood, taking the blonde's hand and following her to the bedroom

It started out slow, the two women took their time exploring each other's mouths, hand's wandered over bare skin, but their was a gentleness, an almost tentativeness about their actions.

Clothes were shed, in the same slowness, and Alex gasped at the sight before her, Casey was beautiful. The milky skin of the redhead littered with freckles, her breasts were pert, and as Alex placed a finger on the other women's nipple she smiled as it reacted to the touch

"Alex" Casey breathed "Please"

Alex nodded as began her ministrations, she rolled the bud between her fingers, as her lips once again met those of the woman before her

"You're gorgeous," she whispered

Casey blushed, closing her eyes as Alex set her body on fire, every touch igniting her skin. She gasped when she felt the blonde's breath on her nether regions, and within minutes had succumbed to her orgasm

"That…" Casey breathed "..was amazing"

Alex chuckled, crawling up the redhead's body and placing a kiss on her lips.

Casey smiled, before flipping the blonde over, laughing at the squeal the blonde emitted

Casey worshipped the blonde's body, it was slow, almost torturous at times but Alex didn't mind, she felt appreciated. Their was nothing hurried about the redheads touch, and when she came, her whole body shook, all of the pent up frustration escaping. Casey continued, her fingers sending the blonde rocketing into a second orgasm, and then third, leaving her spent

"Wow!" Casey exclaimed as the blonde's tremors slowly subsided "You okay?"

Alex nodded, not sure whether her voice would co-operate if she tried to speak as the redhead removed her fingers, bringing them to her lips "You taste sweet"

Alex blushed, sighing as the redhead gently kissed her cheek, resting her head on her chest

"I'm shattered" she said with a laugh, causing the redhead to look up at her

"You can sleep if you want, I'm pretty tired too"

Alex smiled looking down at the redhead, uncertain of what she was about to say "Stay?"

Casey nodded "Of course, i'm wanting round two in the morning"

Alex smiled as she closed her eyes, for the first time in three years not worrying about whether the woman beside her would be there come morning.

 **Bet you didn't expect that. What do you think's going to happen next? Please review**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you to those that have been reading and to the reviewers. You're support means a great deal to me. Here's another chapter, hope you enjoy**

Alex jumped at the sound of her cell and groaned when the caller id displayed Olivia's name, it had been 3 days since the blonde had met Casey and she hadn't spoke to either the redhead or Olivia since. In fact if she thought about it, having Olivia call her was a little out of the ordinary, the brunette usually only text and that was only after she'd left the blonde's bed. She cut the call, and her mind wandered back to the morning after she had spent with the redhead, a smile on her lips

 _Alex opened her eyes, her blonde hair dishevelled from their early morning love making, the redhead making good on her promise of another round. The empty space beside her evident, and for a second her hear sunk, until the smell of coffee drifting from the kitchen and a gentle voice emitted from the doorway_

 _"I hope you don't mind, I made coffee"_

 _Alex smiled as she laid her eyes upon the redhead, who had somehow found one of Alex's running tops which was certainly a little long_

 _"And I kind of found this in the bathroom" she said fiddling with fabric "Is that okay"_

 _Alex nodded as she stood from the bed, grabbing her robe and wrapping I around her, suddenly feeling underdressed "Of course, now this coffee"_

 _Casey laughed and the two women settled at the counter_

Alex groaned as she put the pen she had been using to sign some documents down, her cell ringing again, it had been a long day and she suspected it would only get longer

"Olivia" she answered, her annoyance evident

"Alex" Olivia replied "Sorry I've been distant"

Alex softened, hearing Olivia's voice she realised how much she'd missed it "I haven't been much better"

"Are you still at work?" the brunette asked

"Yeah, though I'm heading out shortly"

"I'm literally 3 blocks away" Olivia explained, "Can I stop by?"

Alex hesitated but agreed and within 15 minutes was sitting in the passenger seat of the brunette's car

"Do you want to come back to my place?" Olivia asked, noticing the shock on the blonde's face

"Your place?"

Olivia nodded "Yeah"

"You've never invited me to your place Olivia" Alex replied "Why now?"

"Because I've been thinking, about us and after…"

Alex cut in "After you left again"

Olivia nodded, she deserved that "I am sorry Al, for the way I've gone about all this, I'm not very good at emotions and feelings but I think we have to talk, and I'd like it if you'd let me explain"

Alex nodded, she had been waiting years for this moment, and hoped they'd be able to finally have a conversation without either shedding their clothes

* * *

The ride back to the brunette's apartment had been in silence, Alex hadn't expected to be heading to the brunette's apartment for the first time tonight, she was hesitant and unsure of where the evening was headed but part of her felt she should let the brunette explain

Unlocking her apartment door Olivia allowed Alex to step inside first. The blonde was surprised at how messy it was, and it seemed this was evident as Olivia began picking up objects and garments of clothing "Excuse the mess" she said quickly "I'm not usually this messy, well, I am but it's usually tidier when I'm expecting guests"

Alex nodded, still observing the small but homely apartment. She noticed that while it was a certainly lived in home, there weren't many personal effects, no photographs or knick knacks that told a story, a stark contrast to her own home "You have a nice place"

"It's not much, but it's home"

"Why have I never been here before Olivia?"

Olivia sighed "Because inviting you into my home would make what we had real"

Alex furrowed her brow but sat down on the couch as Olivia did so, the items she was holding now on the small coffee table in front of them "What do you mean?"

"I was scared, heck Alex I was petrified and quite honestly I still am but I've gone about things the wrong way. I was a coward, I hid behind work and the fact that I'm not gay…"

'I told you, the label you choose to give yourself doesn't bother me Liv"

Olivia nodded "I know Al, and it wasn't that I was scared of. I was scared because I'd never felt the way I do about you about anyone ever before"

"And how do you feel?"

"I can't put it into words Alex, I just…whenever you smile I can't help but smile too, and my heart feels like it's going to burst every time I see you, you're a very special woman and I've been horrible to you"

"You hurt me Liv" Alex said, her tone soft but her voice was clearly wavering with emotion

"I know and for that, I'm deeply sorry. I guess, what this is is bigger than anything I've ever felt and I just avoided making it real. I wouldn't admit it was anything other than sex"

"And is it?"

Olivia took hold of the blonde's hand "Yes, I don't feel like its just sex with you, I feel we connect"

Alex had felt that they had a connection but after her night with Casey part of her felt that the connection was simply that of two women desperate for comfort, and the way she and Casey had made love a start contrast to how she and Olivia engaged in the act

"Olivia, I love you"

"I know!" Olivia said harshly, but sighed before continuing, "I'm sorry that you feel that way, I don't deserve your love Alex"

"No, you don't" Alex agreed "But it doesn't change the fact that ever since you kissed me in that park, you are all I can think of. I almost through away my education once you transferred classes"

"I know, the amount of times Mr Williamson came to me asking about you, wanting to know whether you'd always caused trouble in English because every other teacher had said how polite and well behaved you were"

Alex laughed "I made his life hell, but I was hurting Olivia"

"I know"

"I don't expect you to return the feelings I have for you. I just don't want to be hurt anymore and every time you turn up I let myself get dragged in"

"I don't want to hurt you anymore either Alex. Stay with me tonight?"

Alex wasn't expecting the invitation, she certainly wasn't expecting to be asked to stay the night and as much as she wanted to, she needed to make things clear with the brunette

"I want to stay Liv, I really do but how do I know you're not going to turf me out in the morning, ignore me for days and then expect forgiveness"

"You don't but I want us to give it a try, I want to be in your life more than just every now and then, for a relationship and not just sex"

"Then let me go home and take me out for dinner next week"

"Are you asking me on a date Alex?"

"No, I'm asking you to ask me on a date. Show me that you want more than just sex, words are all very well but actions speak louder"

Olivia nodded "Can I take you to dinner next week Alex? I'll book us a table somewhere and text you the details"

Alex smiled "I'd like that very much"

"Could you stay a while longer" the brunette asked "I kind of feel a little more relaxed now we've spoken and while I know it's going to take some changes on my part, I'd like us to spend some time with each other just chilling"

Alex hesitated "I don't know Olivia, I don't know if I could pull myself away if I stayed"

"Then don't"

"I have to Olivia. I'll text you when I get home, and I'll speak to you when you've made that reservation"

Olivia nodded, she was disappointed but she had expected Alex to decline the invitation, she opened her arms, offering a hug and Alex stepped into it. It was brief but Alex knew that to share a different kind of closeness had been an important and difficult thing for the brunette

"I'll see you soon Liv" the blonde says places a kiss on the cheek of the older woman before stepping back and picking up her bag and jacket from the floor

"Thanks for hearing me out" Olivia says with small smile before the blonde exits her apartment

Olivia was still scared but determined to make it right she set about looking up the local restaurants and wishing she knew what kind of food the blonde woman liked


	7. Chapter 7

**I know, you all wanted to see how the date goes, you'll find out but firstly, this chapter. Thank you all so much for he support and reviews**

Alex smiled, earning a questioning glance from the brunette opposite her.

 _ **I hope you like Italian, be ready for seven on Friday, I'll pick you up. Liv x**_

It was late afternoon Wednesday, Abbie had called at lunchtime, asking if she could pop over. Alex was grateful for the distraction so left work early and met her friend. They'd had lunch and were now at the blonde's apartment, magazines spread over the coffee table

"Who was that?"

"Olivia" Alex replied with a smile, holding her hand up to stop the tirade she knew would follow "She's taking me to dinner Friday"

"On a date?"

"Yeah, she called me yesterday, and we went back to her place"

"You went to her place?"

Alex nodded "Yeah, she lives in Washington Heights"

Abbie put her glass on the table, shuffling to look directly at the blonde "So…what did she have to say for herself?"

"Well she said she was sorry for how she'd treated me…" Alex began "and said she was scared of her feelings and that she wanted to try and have a relationship"

"That was unexpected" Abbie replied surprised "and what about Casey?"

Alex shrugged "I think that was just a one night thing. I haven't heard from her"

"And have you tried calling her or texting?"

"I didn't want to seem too eager"

"But you'd like to see her again"

"Yeah. We had a nice time, it's so easy and simple with Casey"

Abbie smiled, noticing the same wistfulness in her friend's voice that she'd noticed when Alex had called Saturday afternoon gushing about the redhead

"Well you need to know what's happening between you two before you and Olivia try and sort out whatever it is between you"

Alex groaned. Abbie was right, as usual. Not wanting to have to think about how difficult her life was becoming she turned to the multiple wedding magazines and changed the subject

"So, what have you decided on so far?"

"Not a lot" Abbie sighed, "Serena's already got her dress, apparently, so I better get a move on"

Alex nodded "Well, you're getting married in a few months Abs, you haven't got a whole load of time to get sorted"

"I know, I just…I don't want anything too extravagant, you know me and dresses"

"Well, you could wear a suit?"

Abbie screwed her nose up "No thanks, I want to wear a dress, but everything is either lacy or frilly, I don't want all the bling and stuff and I kind of wanted to wear my converse"

Alex laughed "You are so…you Abs, don't ever change"

"Well, I've decided to take Serena's name"

Alex opened her mouth in shock before closing it "You were dead set on her taking yours"

"I know, but we had a discussion about it and Serena made a valid point. She's already established in the world of Law, she's Serena Southerlyn for crying out loud, everyone knows her"

"She's so modest"

Abbie laughed, "I know right but it's true. I've not even finished Law School, and honestly, I'm not sure I'm gonna go back, I kind of like being a housewife"

"Abbie, it was your dream"

"Yeah it was, but its not anymore. Almost losing Serena last year has made me realise that my happiness is with her, and we've talked about kids recently and I really want us to have a family"

"Oh Abbie, I'm so happy for you"

Abbie smiled, nudging her friend "You know I couldn't have got through it without you"

Alex smiled, thinking back to that day, when her friend had called her in hysterics. Abbie and Serena had spent a week on the coast in the blonde's beach house and were driving back through Maine when they were hit from behind. The blonde had lost control of the car and ploughed into a lamppost, she had lost consciousness and had subsequently been in a coma for 4 weeks.

"You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for Abs"

Abbie smiled "Thanks Lex. I'm ready to start the rest of my life with Serena"

"You deserve it. You make such a lovely couple"

"Thanks"

"Okay, so you need a dress" Alex said scribbling on the notepad in front of her "You've got a venue, and sorted catering, what about flowers?"

"Not a clue, Serena thinks roses are tacky"

"What do you think?"

"I agree, I was thinking about lilies but then I kind of thought are they too boring"

"Yep" Alex said with a smile "But if you like them and Serena is okay with that choice then why not"

"Okay, so flowers. I'll check with Ser on that. What about the bridesmaid dresses?"

Alex smiled, she had been honoured to accept Abbie's invitation to be her maid of honour, being without siblings the brunette had explained that there was no one else she'd rather have as a maid of honour than her best friend and Alex had some great ideas about dresses

* * *

They'd been mulling over magazines for the past 2 hours when the doorbell rang and Abbie stood, walking over to it explaining, "That's Serena, she said she'd pick me up after she finished work"

Alex nodded, pouring herself another glass of wine as she flicked through the pages of the magazine in front of her

"Hey Alex" Serena greeted as she stepped into the blonde's living room "Look who I found on my way in"

Alex looked up to her see her friend, blushing as she stepped aside to reveal a certain redhead

"Casey"

"Hey…er, I was just passing…well…sort of…I wondered…" she stuttered, all of a sudden her voice betraying her as she took in the sight of the blonde

Alex had thrown on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, only now realising it was the same one that Casey had worn a few days earlier

"We'll catch up soon" came the voice from the doorway as Serena and Abbie quietly made their way out of the door, closing it behind them

"It's nice to see you," both women said at the same time before laughing, the awkwardness between them dispersing now alone

"T-Shirt looks better on you" Casey said her eyes travelling up the blonde who had stood up

Alex smiled "It looked pretty good on you"

Casey blushed "I'm sorry I came by unannounced, I really was just passing, didn't realise you had company"

Alex shook her head, taking in the redhead who was dressed in jeans, a large parka hanging across her shoulders, the zip half way down revealing a grey sweatshirt

"No need to apologise. It really is good to see you"

"I didn't know whether you'd want to"

Alex smiled, stepping forwards and offering her hand to the redhead "I'm sorry I haven't text, or called. I didn't know want to come across desperate"

Casey smiled "That's why I didn't call either"

Both women chuckled before Alex pointed to the couch "Sit down, would you like a drink, I've wine"

Casey took off her jacket as she sat on the couch "I think I'll stick to water, wine kind of makes me a little horny"

"I wouldn't have guessed" the blonde quipped as she poured the redhead a glass of water

Casey blushed, thanking the blonde as she took the glass, bringing it to her lips

"Have you eaten?" Alex asked

"Erm, no I haven't, I was just on my way home"

"Oh" Alex said, suddenly remembering that Casey had only been passing and hadn't gone out of her way to see her

"But if you're offering, I'm pretty famished"

Alex smiled "You don't need to get off?"

Casey almost choked on the mouthful of water she had just taken, swallowing hard before laughing at the look of panic of the blonde's face

"You're face Alex"

"I'm sorry" the blonde managed, certain that she had gone as red as a tomato "I didn't mean that how it sounded"

Casey smiled, placing the empty glass on the table "I know"

"I just wanted to make sure you hadn't plans for the evening"

"No plans"

"Okay, would you like to stay for dinner, I could order in, or I could cook something"

"You cook?"

Alex nodded; feigning hurt "Is that surprising?"

"No, of course not. I'm just useless at cooking, my Mom always cooks at home"

"Well, I could whip up a Bolognese, unless you're vegetarian?"

"Nope, only vagitarian"

Alex laughed, standing and heading over to the fridge, pulling out the ingredients she'd need

* * *

Alex couldn't remember feeling more at ease than she did in this moment. After dinner, which Casey had praised continuously they had returned to the couch and were currently watching a film, the redhead resting her head on Alex's chest.

During dinner they had talked about anything and everything, well, almost. Alex had learnt that Casey, who's name was actually Cassandra lived in the east village in Lower Manhattan with her Mom and three brothers, Cullen and the twins Corbin and Cooper. Alex had joked that her parents must have liked names beginning with C and Casey had explained that her Mom was called Caitlyn and her Dad Christopher. Her Dad had left when she was five, the twins barely two, and Casey had only seen him a handful of times since.

Alex had shared with the redhead that she was an only child, expanding more on the relationship between herself and her parents. She explained how her Mom and Dad had taken a while to accept that she was gay, how she had been judged for her sexuality but that they'd come to accept her. She explained how she'd lived with her Aunt and Uncle until finishing school.

The film came to an end and Alex realised that Casey had drifted off. She placed a kiss to the redhead's forehead, realising how natural it felt and smiled when the redhead roused, looking up at her

"Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep on you"

"No worries" the blonde replied as Casey adjusted herself so she was no longer flush against her. Alex immediately missed the contact, the cold air suddenly hitting her skin

"I should be going" the redhead said sadly looking at the time, Alex glanced at the clock on the wall, noting it was almost midnight

"Yes, gosh I didn't realise that was the time. Give me five and I'll drive you home"

Casey smiled "Thanks" she was grateful for the blonde's offer, although a little unsure of how annoyed her Mom would be as she'd forgotten to let her know she'd be out late

Alex quickly entered her bedroom, she pulled on a pair of socks and her sneakers, grabbing a jacket from the closet on her way out, she returned to the living room where Casey was standing by the door, her coat now zipped up to protect from the cold air outside, the rucksack over her shoulder Alex just noticing

"Ready?" the blonde asked. She noticed the redhead's wallet on the arm of the couch, and picked it up not noticing the colour drain from the young woman's face as a student card fell to the floor

"Alex, I can explain"

"Explain what?!" Alex said, her anger rising as she studied the card she had retrieved "You're 16"

"Only for a few couple more weeks"

"What the hell? I can't believe I've been so blind, so stupid" Alex muttered to herself "You're underage"

"I'm nearly 17"

Alex sighed as she tossed the card at the redhead "It doesn't matter Casey, I could get arrested, I had sex with you, and I gave you alcohol"

"You didn't know"

"You're so naïve, do you think the police are going to say, oh that's okay then, you didn't know. What if your Mom finds out?"

"I haven't said anything"

Alex rubbed her forehead "Look Case, I was going to drive you home but I don't think it's a good idea now"

"It's okay, I'll call my brother. Can I see you again?"

"I don't think so"

"Please Alex"

"Just go please Casey, I'm too angry right now"

"I love you"

Alex laughed unsure if she'd heard correctly "What?"

Casey stepped forward "I love you, I'm sorry I didn't tell you my age but I love you"

"I'm sorry Casey, I'm sorry you feel that way but this is wrong" Alex gestured between them although noting uncanny similarities between her relationship with Olivia "You've got to go"

Tears ran along the redheads cheeks as she turned and left, Alex sinking into the couch and wondering how on earth she let this happen

"I'm such an idiot!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys, sorry I didn't post this yesterday, My wife and I were visiting my parents, it was my dad's 70th a few days ago so we took him and my mum and two of our nephews out to dinner.**

 **Anyway, thanks for the reviews, I wish I knew whether the guest reviewers were the same people, or not, would be helpful if you signed each review, but anyhow, I hope you enjoy the date**

Friday came all too soon, Alex had almost forgotten about the date with the brunette, but a text that morning had reminded her, realising she hadn't responded to Olivia's text earlier in the week.

Alex didn't know what to wear, in fact, she had thought about cancelling but realised that Olivia had promised to make an effort and felt she had to let her try. She was nervous, incredibly so and hoped that she wouldn't make a fool of herself in front of the older woman.

Deciding on a light blue chiffon dress, Alex checked her reflection one last time before opening the door, not wanting to leave the brunette waiting a moment longer

She visibly swallowed as she took in the sight before her, Olivia was wearing a sleek black dress, the hem falling just above her knees, her make-up was applied with precision and her hair tied up, strands of brunette hair framing her face

"Hey Alex"

Alex took the solitary red rose being offered to her and inhaled its scent, a smile creeping onto her lips at the romantic gesture "You look…wow Liv"

The brunette chuckled, her hand smoothing over the fabric "You like?"

"I certainly do, you look stunning"

Olivia blushed, a small smile gracing her lips "Thank you. You look beautiful Alex. You ready?"

Alex nodded with a smile, stepping out into the hallway and locking the door behind her. As they entered the elevator Alex's hand brushed the brunette's waist, both women jumping at the contact and mumbling their apologies

Olivia chuckled at the awkwardness, a silence filling the air

Alex was the first to break the tension as they made there way to the brunette's car "So, Italian?"

"Yeah I realised I didn't know what you liked, i was going to text and ask but I didn't want to point it out you know, and then I thought maybe you had allergies, or was a vegetarian, and..."

"Breathe" Alex commanded "Italian was a good choice"

Olivia nodded as she settled into the drivers seat "Sorry, just nervous"

Alex smiled "It's ok. I eat pretty much anything, I don't have any allergies and I like meat too much to be vegetarian, although I'm not keen on Sushi"

"Sushi's yum" the brunette replied, grateful that Alex had offered the information

Alex grimaced, "It's like a cruddy vagina" she replied causing Olivia to laugh, tension leaving her body

"So, how far is this place?"

"Not far" the brunette replied as she concentrated on the road ahead "Once I'd decided on Italian, i wanted to go somewhere a little quieter, somewhere new"

Alex nodded in understanding, her lips curling at the edges, as Olivia reached across to take her hand in her own

Although the brunette had said that the restaurant wasn't far, Alex felt as if they'd driven forever before pulling up outside a small building, the brunette exciting the car and opening the passenger door for the blonde

They were seated at the table quickly, the waiter taking there drink orders and Alex eyed the brunette who seemed to be in her own world

"You okay Liv?" she asked

Olivia nodded, a small smile appearing as she focused on the blonde "Yeah, I'm just nervous, I don't know why"

Alex nodded in understanding her hand stretching across the table to still Olivia's tapping fingers "Hey, it's okay, I'm nervous too"

Olivia sighed, her fingers coming to a stop "It's silly, I've known you for so long Alex, but this is all so new, I don't know what to say"

Alex nodded "I know what you mean, this is new for us both but just be yourself Liv, relax, okay?"

Both women ordered, Alex choosing the prawn and bacon linguine, while Olivia finally decided on the ravioli and meatballs. They ate, the conversation between them flowing much more easily now they'd addressed the awkwardness. Olivia had relaxed, the wine she was drinking had obviously settled her nerves and Alex felt the connection between them returning, she loved being around Olivia and the brunette was obviously serious about them giving a proper relationship a go.

* * *

Alex knew it would take time; she was pleased that they'd found their rhythm again, the atmosphere no longer awkward although an underlying sexual tension was evident.

"I'm sorry tonight's been weird" Olivia said as they arrived at Alex's apartment door "I think I was just nervous"

Alex nodded "This is new for both of us Liv, yeah it was awkward at times but I don't think that's a bad thing"

"We've not really talked properly since you were in high school" Olivia mused before continuing hurriedly "And I know that's my fault, I just…you do things to me Alex"

Alex chuckled as she unlocked the front door "Relax Olivia, but I know what you mean, there's always some sexual tension lingering between us"

Olivia nodded as she stepped forward, her hands lacing with the blonde's as lips met in a soft kiss.

Alex smiled as she pulled away, before furrowing her brows "Liv"

"You can't deny the tension Alex, you said yourself it's there"

Alex nodded "It is Liv, and god knows how badly I wan't to but we can't"

"Even if I promised to be there in the morning"

Ales nodded, she wanted so badly to give in, but she knew she couldn't, they had to take this slow

"Even if you promised Liv, I don't know if I could trust that you wouldn't freak out"

Olivia knew the blonde was right, she herself didn't know whether she would be able to stay, whether her nerves or past would win "I know Alex"

Alex took the brunette's hands in her own, squeezing gently as she asked "Would you like to come over tomorrow, watch a movie or something?"

"I'd really like that" Olivia replied

"Tomorrow then, about six?"

"Looking forward to it" Olivia replied in agreement before asking "Can I kiss you goodbye?"

Alex nodded, there lips meeting in a chaste kiss before Olivia stepped back

"Bye Alex"

"See you tomorrow Liv"

As the door closed after the brunette a smile lingered on both of their lips, maybe everything would finally fall into place, maybe they would get there happy ever after


	9. Chapter 9

**Hope you like this one. Please keep reading**

Alex laughed as Serena poked fun at her fiancé. They were currently in the Carmichael/Southerlyn apartment sharing stories about Alex's and Abbie's friendship growing up.

"You are such a klutz!" Serena exclaimed as Abbie once again knocked her glass over "You're not even drinking and still you manage to make a mess"

"I'm sorry Ser" Abbie said, her best puppy dog look winning over the blonde who chastely kissed her fiancé, before wiping up the spillage

"She's always been like that" Alex joined in, her lips curling into a smile "When we were 12, Abbie came to stay over during the summer…"

Abbie groaned "Not this story"

"I can't believe I haven't told Serena this one" Alex interjected before continuing, "My parents had had a party, we'd gone to bed and Abbie had wanted to sneak out"

Serena listened, she loved hearing stories about her wife-to-be, and she had a feeling this would be no less embarrassing for the brunette

"You weren't entirely innocent"

Alex laughed "No I wasn't, but anyway, we crept down the stairs, and managed to sneak ourselves into the living room and get some snacks, no one saw us, they'd all been drinking and we were stealthy"

Abbie hid her face knowing what was coming next, Alex nudged her shoulder "Well, I was stealthy, this one, gets her foot caught on the tablecloth"

"It was lace!" the brunette exclaimed, throwing her hands up "And I was barefoot"

"Not content with pulling everything off the table, she grabs hold of me to stop herself falling, and we end up on the floor"

"You should have seen her Dads face" Abbie says laughing

"What did he do?" Serena asks

"We were sent to bed, and then I got grounded" Alex huffs "Sweet, Dear Abigail didn't even get a telling off"

"Well let's hope that Abbie doesn't have one of her moments at our wedding" Serena says, half laughing but dead serious at the same time

Alex laughed before asking "So have you decided on what style dress you want yet?" They were due to attend Kleinfeld later that day, Abbie having asked Alex if she would come with her and help her decide

"Not yet" Abbie replied before turning to her fiancé "i wish you'd tell me what yours looks like, I want us to compliment each other, not clash"

Serena shook her head "It's bad luck babe, just use your gut, if you like it, I'll like it, you look beautiful in anything you wear"

The brunette smiled, leaning across to kiss the love of her life "I love you"

"Love you too"

Alex smiled, her friends love was sickly sweet and she hoped one day she could have that love too

"So, is Olivia going to be your plus one?" Serena asks turning to Alex "How did the date go?"

Alex sighed earning a raised eyebrow from Abbie

"That bad huh?" Serena questioned, concern causing her brows to furrow together

"It wasn't bad" Alex defended before smiling "It was actually a nice evening, it was awkward at times is all"

"In what way?"

"We were both just so nervous, like we'd only just met, you know? We both wanted it to go well but we were also aware of the sexual tension"

"So, you didn't…you know" Abbie queried

"No Abbie, we didn't"

"You sound disappointed" Serena joked

Alex laughed, a blush appearing on her cheeks as she recalled the previous evening, she wasn't going to go into detail, knowing Abbie had her reservations about the relationship but answered "It's just different is all, anyway she's coming over tonight, so who knows"

* * *

Abbie screwed up her face as she pulled at the fabric of the dress she was currently wearing "It's itchy" she complained, earning an exasperated sigh from the shop assistant and a giggle from the blonde observing

"Every dress has been itchy Abbie, or too long, too tight" Alex noted, earning a scowl from the brunette

They were currently two hours into their appointment at Kleinfield. She was on a tight budget and a limited time scale too, having a little over three months until she married the woman of her dreams

"I just haven't seen anything I like" she complained with a huff "I'm gonna end up walking down the aisle in my jeans at this rate"

"You could still wear a suit," Alex said, once again bringing up the idea "It can be fitted, and white if you wanted and you don't have to wear trousers"

"I really did want to wear a dress though" she sighed "Serena always says she likes it when I wear a dress, it makes me look like a lady"

"Serena loves you, she'd think you looked amazing even if you were wearing a garbage bag Abs, she'll just be happy you're by her side"

Abbie nodded, knowing her longest friend was right, as long as she married the love of her life, she didn't care what she was wearing, turning to the shop assistant, apologising as she asked "Have you any suits I could try?"

Half an hour later the two women left the shop, the brunette having purchased a Navy Skirt and Jacket combination, her mind now firmly on her growling stomach "That was stressful, come on, I need food"

Alex laughed, her own stomach signalling the need for food

* * *

Alex straightened the cushion on the couch for the third time in as many minutes, her palms were sweaty, she was nervous. She had spent the last couple of hours making sure thing were perfect, the popcorn was already split into two bowls, an array of films littered the table but Alex was still nervous.

The sound of the doorbell startled her "Hang on" she called out adjusting the pillow again before throwing her hands up in defeat, it'll have to do

She opened the door; Olivia stood before her, a bottle of wine in hand "Hi"

Alex smiled, the panic in her chest subsiding. Olivia looked nervous too "Come in"

Olivia stepped into the apartment, her eyes falling on the V of the blonde's t-shirt before she looked up swallowing hard "Sorry. I er…" she handed the blonde the bottle she had been holding…"wine"

Alex took the wine; aware of the brunette's eyes following her as she placed it on the counter, she gestured towards the couch "You can sit down Liv"

The brunette nodded, looking at the DVDs in front of her and taking a couple of pieces of popcorn

"I didn't know what sort of films you liked," she explained, "So there's a selection, I've Romance, Thriller, Comedy…"

"Disney?" Olivia questioned, motioning to the film in question

"Lion King's a classic," she said laughing, "Anyway, you can choose"

Olivia studied the inscription on each box, before picking up Romeo and Juliet

"Good choice" Alex mused before asking, "Did you want some wine?"

"Please" the brunette replied, putting the disc into the machine before shrugging off her jacket and hanging it by the door

Alex handed the brunette a glass as they sat down beside one another on the couch. Alex sighed in contentment as Olivia pulled her close, a smile forming as the brunette kissed her hair and pressed play

The film was good, both women having watched it before. They sat for a few moments in silence, until the blonde heard a muffled sob from the brunette's lips

"You okay Olivia?" she asked, looking up at the brunette in concern

The brunette nodded as she turned to face Alex, wiping her eyes "Yeah, that's Mom's favourite film"

"It is?" Alex questioned, eager to learn more about the brunette, suddenly realising that she had never heard Olivia mention her parents

"Yeah" Olivia answered before shaking her head "Do you want to watch another?"

Alex shrugged, concern lacing her features "I don't really know much about you're family, what is your Mom like?"

"She's dead" Olivia answered, a fresh round of tears falling


	10. Chapter 10

**To the guest reviewer, I now know as Leah, thank you very much for your support and kind words. I'm glad you have enjoyed the last couple of chapters. When I first started this story, i had a clear direction in where i was heading but then as I began to write and added Casey, it led me in a whole other direction. I'd written 18 chapters before deleting them and returning to my original plan. I then wrestled with myself over the story but i am glad you're enjoying it as it is, and hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter**

 **Keep reading guys, you're support means a lot to me.**

"Talk to me Liv" Alex gently commanded, as the brunette's tears gradually stopped falling "You can trust me"

Olivia sighed as she shifted to look at the blonde "I've never told anyone Alex, and I do trust you, it's just, I'm worried about how you'll react"

"You can tell me anything Olivia, you know you can"

Olivia nodded, she was so frightened of how Alex would react, she had never shared the information she was about to, but going against her instinct to run she blurted, "My Mom was raped and had me"

Alex was silent as she took the information she had received in, so Olivia was the product of rape. She hadn't expected that, of course it made sense why Olivia always apologised for being a little rough, asking if she'd hurt the blonde but it didn't change how Alex saw her, she was still Liv

Olivia watched as her words sunk in and her heart was thudding inside her chest at the silence, her panic rising "If you don't want anything to do with me…"

Her words were cut off by the blonde's fingers linking with her own and a gentle squeeze of the hand stopped her from running "Thank you for telling me" Alex began "I know that was hard for you, but it doesn't change anything about how I feel about you"

"You're not repulsed by me?"

Alex squeezed the brunette's hand once again; her heart breaking at the thought that Olivia was worried that's how she'd feel "Oh Liv, of course I'm not. How you were conceived doesn't have any impact on who you are"

Olivia nodded, she'd always worried that she would turn into her father, worried that being his spawn she would become him "I have half his DNA"

"You do Olivia, which means you might have his eyes, the same colour hair, but it doesn't mean you're a rapist, you are a wonderful, kind, caring human being and you have morals and you know what's right and wrong"

"You believe that?"

Alex nodded "Yes, I do"

"I was always scared I'd be like him, you know?" Olivia explained "I always worried that I'd do something bad and then my Mom would be right"

"What do you mean?"

Olivia sighed "My Mom was an alcoholic, when she was drinking she would always tell me that I was my fathers daughter. I know it was the drink talking but I still worry she was right"

Alex nodded "Can I hold you Liv" Alex asked, wondering whether it would be too much for the brunette

"You want to hold me?"

"Yes, Liv. I love you, and I'm here whenever you want to talk, and if you don't then I'll hold you until you are ready"

Olivia nodded, her body sinking into the blonde's outstretched arms. She sighed as she felt the blonde's warmth and her arms envelope her in a hug

"My Mom died drunk" Olivia said after a few minutes "She fell down the subway steps"

Alex stroked the brunette's cheek, her fingers dancing over the flesh, feeling the tears that had escaped; she squeezed the woman gently, letting her know she was there

"I didn't get to see her before she died" Olivia choked out "I was too busy being a whore"

Alex was shocked at the crudeness of the brunette's words, she didn't know what to say, so instead placed a kiss to the brunette's hairline

Olivia allowed the tears to fall freely now, the simple act of kindness from the blonde finally opened the floodgates, and she shook with her emotion

Alex began to grow worried, when after 10 minutes the brunette's sobs hadn't slowed, she gently lifted the brunette from her chest, a sad but comforting smile on her lips as she said "Liv, you're going to make yourself sick if you don't breathe"

Olivia's nodded, willing her tears to stop, and after a few deep breaths and a final gasp she gave a small smile to the blonde "Sorry"

Alex shook her head "No Liv, no need to apologise"

"I must look a mess"

"You do" Alex chuckled lightly as Olivia feigned hurt "But a beautiful mess"

"Oh hush you"

A silence filled the air before Alex asked "What did you mean when you said you were too busy being a whore?"

Olivia sighed "I...you know I keep saying I'm not gay?"

Alex nodded, she'd heard the brunette say those words over and over for three years and was worried where this conversation was headed "I told you..."

"You didn't care about labels" Olivia finished the sentence "I know and I know you mean it. It's not so much the label that scares me, i guess I use that as an excuse not to stay"

"I thought as much"

"When I was little whenever my Mom drank, I would stay hidden in my room, she could be nasty sometimes and she would hit me"

"Oh Liv"

Olivia shook her head "I know it was the alcohol, when she wasn't drinking she was a great Mom, we'd talk and laugh and she'd cuddle me. When I got older, she told me I looked like him"

"Your Father?"

Olivia nodded "She drank more then, the older I got the less she was sober. I began truanting, I was a bit of a tearaway, a handful at school, and I was 14 when I lost my virginity"

"14?" Alex asked, her voice a whisper

"Yeah" Olivia nodded "He was a bit older, local bad boy"

"How much older?"

"Oh no, he was only a couple years older" Olivia explained, noting the concern on the blonde's face "Anyway, it didn't last, he chucked me a couple days later. But after that I found sex intriguing, and i've been with a lot of blokes since then"

"How many?"

"I've lost count, but over 50"

Alex was shocked, while she understood that Olivia had had a rough childhood she wasn't sure how this reflected her adult life "But how does this relate to us?"

"Up until I met you, sex had been used as a punishment, it was never more than a quick fuck and they never stayed over and I never stayed over. I've never had a relationship Alex, and then I met you"

Alex nodded, motioning for the brunette to continue

"When I kissed you in the park, it was because I wanted to, I finally felt an attraction to someone, not just a sexual attraction but an emotional one"

"You hurt me, I think I'd already fallen for you"

"What I did was wrong Al, I was your teacher, ethically it was wrong and I had to ask to change classes"

Alex nodded, she'd come to terms with what had happened all those years ago but she was still at a loss "But when we met again"

"I was scared Alex, scared of hurting you again. But I was also scared of getting hurt, I've never been loved, I've never really enjoyed sex until you"

"So..."

"So, I don't know why it feels different with you, but I was scared"

Alex nodded, she did understand where Olivia was coming from, a silence settled over them. A few minutes had passed when Alex asked gently "How are you feeling now?"

"Tired"

Alex nodded, looking at the clock "It is late"

"I should go" Olivia said as she stood, all of a sudden the panic and fear returning at the blonde's words "I've taken your evening, you've got work and I've got work"

Alex stood, quickly taking the brunette's hands as she soothed "Hey, take a breath, no need to panic"

Olivia nodded, her heart still racing "Sorry"

"Stop with the apologies Olivia. You don't have to go, I have got work tomorrow but I can call in late, one good thing about working with a friend of my Uncle Bill's"

"I have to work though"

"Yes, but you can go from here""

"I don't have any clean clothes for tomorrow"

Alex sighed, she could tell that she wouldn't be able to convince the brunette to say and wasn't really surprised "Okay, can I drop you home though?"

"I brought my car" Olivia replied, before sighing "Thank you for the offer Alex, I just, I feel so drained, and I've shared so much, I just…staying, it's too much right now"

Alex nodded "We're taking this slow Olivia, I do have a perfectly good spare room, but I can see you're not ready"

"I'm sorry Alex"

"I know" Alex replied, wrapping the brunette in a hug and swiftly kissing her lips "Let me know you get home okay"

"I will" Olivia replied "Thanks for tonight, I hope you had a nice time even if I snotted over you"

Alex laughed, "I didn't mind. I had a lovely time"

"I'm glad. I'll see you soon?"

"You will" Alex promised "Take Care Olivia"

"And you Al"


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks to those still reading, hope you enjoy this chapter. Last Chapter guys and then the epilogue. I thank you for your continued support.**

"Can we talk?" Casey asked as she stood opposite the blonde in the cramped coffee shop.

Alex sighed, she hadn't seen nor heard from the redhead since finding out she was underage. Things with Olivia had been progressing at a relatively slow rate since learning about the circumstances around her birth and the consequences of a difficult upbringing, they had met up for drinks a few times, and had been intimate on two occasions since, the brunette still not comfortable with staying

"I don't know" Alex replied "I'm due back at work"

"Please" Casey asked, her voice thick with emotion "I just want a chance to explain"

Alex nodded, motioning to a table in the corner "Let's sit down"

Neither woman spoke, both fiddling with their coffee cups before Alex sighed, looking up at the redhead "Casey"

"I'm sorry" the redhead replied, her voice returning as she gathered the strength to speak "I'm sorry that I was dishonest"

"You let me believe you were over 18, how were you even in the bar?"

"My cousin owns it, he lets me sit at the bar, I'm not allowed to get served alcohol, all the staff know me"

Alex nodded "Why did you lie?"

"When your friend came over and started talking to me, I was flattered, she was telling me all this stuff about you, how you were shy, gay, single, needed a good time, how you thought I was pretty"

"I never said that" Alex replied hastily "She was chatting up every woman in that bar"

"Well, I know she lied about you being single"

"Yeah, I told you that though"

Casey nodded "You did, you're still seeing the same woman"

"That's none of your business Case" Alex bit out, she felt bad about cheating on Olivia and not having told her about the redhead

"I know, I just, I saw you and her at that Italian, I was grabbing some groceries for my Mom, and I walk home that way"

Alex sighed "Look Casey, I'm in a relationship. You're underage"

"I'm 17 now"

"I'm 22 and I'm seeing someone, someone who means a great deal to me, okay"

Casey nodded, a tear falling from her eyes "But I…I love you"

Alex shook her head "Casey, you're young, how many relationships have you had?"

"None, you were my first, I was a virgin before"

Alex wasn't shocked to hear that she'd taken the redheads virginity, she'd had plenty of time to mull over what had happened between them

"Exactly, look Case, you don't love me, you only think you do. You're a great girl, and I like you, but that's all"

Casey nodded, she knew that what she felt for the blonde was real but she accepted that for Alex it hadn't meant anything "Do you think, in different circumstances it could have been more?"

"Maybe. I enjoyed our time together, I did. You're smart, funny and we have the same interests"

"Could we be friends, maybe?' Casey asked hopefully

"Friends, I'd like that" Alex agreed, smiling "But just friends"

She had to admit that she liked the redhead, and maybe things would have been different if she hadn't have been so young. Her heart had always been Olivia's, and part of her knew that it would always be, regardless of where there relationship went but for a short while she had wondered whether Casey had been gradually claiming it as her own

* * *

Olivia laughed at the blonde's embarrassment, she was currently sitting in Alex's parent's kitchen. The older Cabot having dug out the family photo albums, plying her with stories of her daughters escapades

"I can't believe you told her that," Alex said, her face bright crimson. She had returned from the bathroom, to find the brunette and her Mom deep in conversation. Her Mom having told Olivia about the time that Alex had slept walked into the garden and weed in the family pool, aged seven.

"You sleep walk?" Olivia queried, eager to learn more about Alex. Alex had confessed to sleeping with another woman during their relationship earlier that morning, Olivia had been hurt that another woman had shared the same intimacy that she had but she understood, she'd mucked the blonde about so much, and while jealous, she didn't blame the woman sitting beside her. She had been nervous when Alex had invited her to New Hampshire, especially after learning that she was to meet the blonde's parents. She had been pleasantly surprised at how easy it had been to talk to the older blonde.

"I haven't done it since my early teens" Alex said, "Thank goodness"

Olivia smiled "I think it's cute"

Alex playfully swatted the redhead on the arm "I'm not cute"

"You are so incredibly cute" Olivia replied, placing a kiss on Alex's cheek making her blush

Caroline watched her daughter and the brunette, she was glad to see her daughter happy, her hands turning the pages of the photo album, laughing as she found the photograph she had been searching for

"Don't show her that one Mom" Alex begged half heartedly

The older Cabot turned the album so Olivia could see the photo they were referring to "Alex decided to make a cake for Valentines Day"

"Oh my goodness" Olivia laughed as she looked at a young and naked Alex Cabot covered in flour grinning at the camera

"I was 8!" Alex defended

"But where were your clothes?" the brunette mused, earning a swat from the blonde

"I didn't want them to get dirty" Alex replied quietly before smiling "It tasted okay though"

"It tasted pretty good actually" Caroline explained "Alex always had a talent for cooking"

"I learnt from the best" Alex said, nudging her Mom as she did so

Olivia smiled. She could clearly see how close the two women before her were.

Caroline Cabot stood from her chair, explaining "I've got to head out and collect your Father, his car is in the garage for it's MOT, but get yourselves ready, we'll go out for dinner tonight"

"Okay Mom" Alex replied, as her Mom left the room before turning to the brunette and whispering "Do you want to share a shower?"

Olivia swallowed, quickly rising from her chair and nodded, her eyes swimming with desire for the blonde beauty


	12. Epilogue

**Hopefully you enjoy this ending, it nearly ended up being something completely different than first intentions, and I guess I stuck too much to my original plans and didn't allow myself enough freedom.**

 **But I do hope you enjoyed.**

"What's that you're reading?" Olivia queried as she looked over at the blonde beside her, she looked absolutely beautiful, and wondered how she'd avoided this opportunity for so long

"Sense and Sensibility" Alex answered, closing the book in her hands, and leaning over to kiss the brunette, their tongues dancing together for a moment before the blonde pulled back smiling "Good Morning"

"It is a Good Morning" Olivia replied with a grin before noting the light from the window causing shadows on the wall "How long have you been awake?"

"I woke about eight" Alex told the woman beside her as she placed the book on the bedside unit "You looked so peaceful, I didn't want to wake you"

Olivia smiled, she was faintly aware of the ache radiating from her body but it wasn't painful, just a reminder of the night of passion they'd shared, a night etched in her memory forever

"What time is it?" she asked

"A little after Ten"

Olivia yawned, "Sorry"

"No need to apologise Liv, you were out like a light"

"I must have been tired"

"Well, we were a bit busy last night" Alex chuckled, winking at the beautiful woman beside her

Olivia laughed as she remembered the feeling of ecstasy from the nigh before "I don't think I've ever experienced anything like that orgasm you gave me"

Alex winked playfully, her hands snaking under the covers to find the brunette's bundle of nerves "We could always replicate it now if you wanted to"

Olivia jerked at the contact, before gently removing the blonde's hands "I'd love to, but if I don't get up right now, I might pee myself"

Alex laughed, allowing the older woman to climb from the bed, she sighed as she leant back and thought about the previous day

Dinner with her parents had been lovely, the atmosphere chilled as they ate and drank. Alex's Father had told Alex to be careful, while he liked the brunette woman he was also aware of how much she had hurt his daughter previously.

After dinner they had said goodbye to the blonde's parents and headed back to New York. Alex smiled as she remembered how Olivia had almost taken her in the elevator, and she'd waisted no time in taking the brunette to the bedroom, her earlier desire for the older woman returning. She'd been on the brink of orgasm in the shower when her parents had returned home, her Father calling out to say he wanted to meet Olivia and had been desperate for release ever since

They'd made love, over and over, both women feeling absolutely spent from multiple orgasms. Afterwards, Alex had been expecting Olivia to leave as she had done so many more times before but she was pleasantly surprised and relieved when Olivia had asked if she could stay

Alex smiled at the brunette as she returned, her naked body beautiful in the light of the sun "You're gorgeous" she whispered, half to herself and half to woman now standing beside her

"Thanks" Olivia blushed

"I mean it" Alex told her, noting the brunette's unease "I love you"

"I love you too" Olivia replied, her voice soft and hesitant

"You do?" Alex asked, her heart quickening at the brunette's words, she hadn't expected them and part of her worried Olivia would take them back or run but as the brunette took her hand and placed a kiss to her knuckles, she knew the brunette meant every word

"Yes, I have always loved you. I was just too afraid to admit it"

Alex smiled as she pulled the brunette down onto the bed, kissing her deeply, a twinkle in her eye as she asked "Now where were we?"

 **Until next time**

 **JTMS**


End file.
